Welcome one and all to the first
Absolutely Average world domination party, I’m sure you understand that the blindfolds were necessary to keep this location secret. As you may or may not know I am
Scouser and my purpose in life is World Domination. You have all been invited to witness the next stage of my diabolical plan to take over the blogging world.
The Dr. Hwang Woo Suk created for me. She makes an excellent maid don’t you think. This man at my side is my new associate Prof. Kevin Warwick the world’s leading authority on Cybernetics and is to help me in stage 2.
I have chosen Sister Celtic as the subject of this next stage as she will insist on calling me names. I also asked Michele to invite all of her blogfriends to help get my message across to as many members of the blogging public as possible. The lady arranging the flowers is Kenju who has been a welcome supporter of my cause as has our keen skier Mar (who appears in clone form until her skiing vacation is over). I see our deputy sherrif’s wife Killired (maybe a target for a future stage of my diabolical plot), has decided to show up and is now trying to protect Sister Celtic but my bodyguard Chewy will make sure that my plans go without a hitch.
I also wish to point out that the 2 members of your most respected blogging community standing at the bar, namely Best Humour Bloggers Dr. Phat Tony and The Conservative UAW Guy will be recruited to aid my cause. They will join me as if they refuse then a message will be sent to Jack Bauer to inform him that they are in fact evil terrorists out to kill his daughter Kim. As they know if this information reaches Jack they will both be dead men.
My eyes & ears in Scotland will be ColCam who as you can see is scrutinising the latecomers through the window for any signs of trouble. Over at the terminal is my security officer Stewart from The Bomb Site who makes sure all of my computers are protected from outside interference.
The lady who has just enetered the room ladies & gentlemen is my soon to be spy in the Civil Service (although she will not realise it), CrazyQueen will provide me with information about the UK government’s plans to stop me. Assisting her will be Joss who will act as a buffer between us to divert any unwanted attention.
Head of my science labs over with Michele (the one wearing the white lab coat) is my very own microbiologist Kat who will be wholly responsible for creating my special drugs (of which you have all ingested a small part which will help you forget anything you may hear here today Bwahahaha). I will also have help from sources in Australia, masquerading as a housewife & single mother is codename Fluffy, she will head my intelligence gathering team down under.
Deep in discussion with fluffy is LadyBug who we are trying to recruit to head our American operations. I see the ever vigilant owner of the Top humour Blog for Jan 2006 Lazy Daisy is trying to interrupt that process. I will have to do something about her.
Now here’s an interesting piece of gossip, guess who just walked in together (holding hands) none other than Shelli & Uisce. This would be such a juicy morsel except that nobody will remember it as the effects of the drug kick in.
I now see that our friend from New-Zealand WendyWings has spotted my celebrity guest Pauley Perrette from CBS’s Navy NCIS and is making her way over to get an autograph.
Well that’s enough about the people who have turned up now for the plan. On second thoughts I think I will just surprise you all (as you won’t remember any of it anyway). All I can say is Beware the Ides of March Bwahahahahaha!!!!!
this time around. I fear there may well be some underhanded shenannigans taking place today.