Post #100
Friday, February 9th, 2007Some funny quotes from the Quotes Database:
- JadussD: All i can say is, the native americans could not have had better vengeance on americans than tobacco
hundreds of thousands of dead each year. “hey, we’re going to enslave, decimate, relocate, and destroy your way of life.” “oh, okay. here, smoke this” - DrSeuss: My dad was calling me gay and shit. He was like “Youre a stupid queer! You cant even get a girlfriend!” Thats when I said “Shut up dad, you dont know anything about my life!” … So I grabbed my pom poms and left
- DawnG I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were broken into small groups and each was asked to state what skills a good leader possesses. I wrote, “Needs to be good with elephants and crossing Alps.” The others at my table were amused, but the seminar coordinator didn’t get it. I said it was a reference to Hannibal, known for his leadership qualities. Her reply: “What leadership qualities? He was a cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, not elephants.”
- PoPsI Today in english, my teacher asked us to write down one thing we regretted or wondered what would’ve happened if we had done something else. After that, he asked us to share some and he picked me. He’s like “What did you write down?” and i say “I wonder what would’ve happened if i had taken the red pill…” Then everyone stared at me…it was hella funny.
- wesleymason The handwriting on these card envelopes look like they’ve been written by a retarded 6yr old Basque speaker who’s learnt English off a box Engrish-translated Japanese sweets. In a hurry. During a storm. At night.
- xterm The problem with America is stupidity. I’m not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? (Let it be known that this is not my opinion, I just think it’s funny - Scouser)
- NES I download something from Napster, and the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I’m done I message him and say “What are you doing? I just got that from you”, “getting my song back”
- jeebus The “bishop” came to our church today he was a f#*ken impostor, he never once moved diagonally
- Reverend IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
- [TN]FBMachine i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section
- scirDSL I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
- DaZE at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone… and he said “if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it..” and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see ‘em and they got passed back the cop had 4
- Mike3285 wtf is a palindrome - MaroonSand no its not dude
- benja A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:”Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure… In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant. In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant. In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant. In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant. In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant. And in the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant
- samsim I heard about this guy who broke into a lion’s den at the zoo and got mauled and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in
