Absolutely Average

Ok I’ve been reading some blogs today & I came across these gems of quotes. Apparently these are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world. Enjoy.

Apologies go to Kats for not mentioning that I saw this list on her blog: Life in the slow lane.
More can be found here & here (where the site says it is from Oct. 1997), this site was apparently Last Updated: March 12, 1999.

• A few buding doctors to avoid
  • To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
  • For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.
  • For fainting: Rub the persons chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
  • For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.
• Chemistry 101
  • To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
  • Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
  • When you smell odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
  • H20 is hot water, and C02 is cold water.
• Biological warfare
  • When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe you expire.
  • Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
  • Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
  • Blood flows down one leg, then up the other.

  On that cheery note I will bid you a good weekend.

  This entry was posted on Friday, March 10th, 2006 at 4:13 pm and is filed under Humour. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.